Dear Blog

have you ever wonder life with all the stress, problems and etc? i just dun understand why things happen where it shoould not happen. i feel so like an idiot living in this small little island called singapore well time and time again and even now i question where is God in my life? he is really there? is he here to see whatever i'm going through? life is so unfair at times and i do feel it now if he is SO GOOD why these things are allowed to happen. oh how i wish i just die at anu point of time and just suffer in hell rather then he bringing me to heaven to enjoy. i just feel like shit now la life is so dam pointless to live. how i wish i can be the little children who are dam poor and just suffer there and work up the ladder from the bottom rather then stuck at this stupid life i have now many people see that i am fine and even my csm can ask me how am i and i still can say everything is fine. well i know i cant do anything to my life. if i can stay by myself and live my own life i think i can be a happier person no need to see all these people in my life. i know i sound i'm running away from everything if God know how i feel can he DO something about it? and not just letting me being not ME MYSELF i dun think i am living to my name la what the fucking shame it is la... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

how i wish to be dead... i really love to be... and just fate away so that no one know about it


~fonz-jm