Desperado

i'm so desperate. of so many things. the future, my life & etc.... what will i be in the future? good guy? bad guy? why at this moment things makes me thinking like a mad person some more at a funny hour where everyone in singapore is sleep though some are not sleeping... possessions, sex life, priesthood, married life & etc

one thing that i dun like the night is i'm not sure whether i will be alive for tomoro. what i know as a christian that is i have to look at Jesus Christ who will be my salvation and eternal life. i still cant see the fact that i came from a screw up family and a religion that have to be a light and salt to the world.

i remembered what Fernando told me on the bus to somewhere in Germany in World Youth Day '05 'Alphonsus, remember that you are not god and dun try to be god cause there is only one God who is your Father & our Father' when i look back in my life i only can see the boy who got nothing with him but just wan to have affection from everyone that he meets. i truly agree with my catechist that she said 'a child who comes from a broken/divorce family always carry a wound in him/her' i guess for myself the wound is very deep and may bleed out the blood. ahhh i dun wan to think so much liao.

Lord i know you are the Way, the Truth and the Life. Please show it to me daily. Amen

~fonz-jm